Job 10:15-18 (ESV)

If I am guilty, woe to me!

If I am in the right, I cannot lift up my head,

for I am filled with disgrace

and look on my affliction.

And were my head lifted up, you would hunt me like a lion

and again work wonders against me.

You renew your witnesses against me

and increase your vexation toward me;

you bring fresh troops against me.

“Why did you bring me out from the womb?

Would that I had died before any eye had seen me

Do you ever feel like that; like no matter what you do it is wrong; like your choices are irrelevant, your commitment to good is worthless, and no matter how hard you try, everything is against you? It makes you wonder where God is. It makes you doubt his goodness. It causes you to reconsider your understanding of the goodness of God. It makes you question the value of doing the right thing. It pushes you toward considering selfishness over sanctification, narcissism over submission, rebellion over worship. It causes you to question the character of God and the value of serving him. That is exactly where Satan wanted Job to go.

Job 10:18b-21 (ESV)

Would that I had died before any eye had seen me

 and were as though I had not been,

carried from the womb to the grave.

Are not my days few?

Then cease, and leave me alone, that I may find a little cheer

before I go—and I shall not return—

to the land of darkness and deep shadow,

Satan wanted Job to question the character of God, but Job never went there. He questioned why God was treating him this way. He questioned what his righteousness had gained him. But he never went that next step. He never accused God of wrongdoing. He never rejected his commitment to God. He never concluded that his faith was misplaced. He questioned why, but he never questioned what. That is why Satan gained no victory in this story.

It has often been said that it is wrong to question God. Yet God never once condemns Job for raising the questions. Asking why is simply an honest expression of our faith. It is when we accuse God of wrongdoing that we have stepped over the line. I don’t understand why God allows children to suffer. I don’t understand why He doesn’t stop Christians from being brutally murdered for their faith. I don’t understand why he lets cancer ravage the body of a godly man or woman. I can think of a lot of people in the world that deserve it more than they do. I don’t understand these things. And it is not wrong to wrestle with God over these issues. But ultimately he is God and I have to trust him. I may ask him to change my conditions. I may be confused as to his purpose. I may be blind to his bigger picture. I can be honest with him about that. He understands. But at the end of the day, He is God and I never challenge that.

I have heard people say that they have a higher level of morality and integrity than God does. That is ignorant arrogance. I have heard people say that they don’t believe in the kind of God that allows bad things to happen to good people. Believe it or not; it doesn’t change the truth. It is not up to us to decide who God is. We can wrestle with the question of why. We can honestly express to Him our pain and our doubt. We can cry out to him to put an end to our condition. But in the end, He is God and I must trust him.

The difference between Job questioning God and Job’s friends questioning Job is that they assumed the answers were to be found in Job’s life. Job understood that the answers were to be found in God. Maybe asking why isn’t so bad if it causes us to turn our eyes upward. If we keep our focus on ourselves and our part of the equation, we miss the point. We may be part of the drama, but ultimately it is not about us. That’s a hard lesson to learn. I’m not sure Job’s friends ever got it, but I think Job did. Life feels very personal, but it’s not about us. Father, remind me of that often, even if it takes pain to get me there.