James 3:2, 8 (ESV)

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.

but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

When we read these verses about bridling the tongue in James 3:3-7 our response is almost always to try harder to control what we say. We try to monitor our speech a little better. We try to say nicer things. We try to stop ourselves before we say something we shouldn’t. James 3:3 says, “If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well.” We read that and assume that James is saying that if we just control what we say, then we can control all that we do. We can please God. But that misses the whole point. We are trying to do the very thing that verse 8 says is impossible. “No human being can tame the tongue.”

So, what then? Are we just supposed to give up and say whatever comes to mind? That is hardly what James is saying. His whole point is that the problem is not really a problem of the tongue. It is a problem of the heart. Notice the verses that follow:

James 3:14-18 (ESV)

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Sin is never simply a problem of obedience. It is always a problem of the heart. Chapter 4 will go on to ask the question, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1). When you read these two chapters together you realize that wrong speech is a result of wrong attitudes, and wrong attitudes are the result of wrong values. We desire something we do not have, or something we think we do not have. That overflows into words and actions that do not reflect Christ. Sin is never a problem of obedience or disobedience. It is always a problem of the heart.

So, what do you value today? You will find yourself chasing after that which you truly value, not what you say you value. Your speech will betray you. When it does, the answer is not to double down and try harder. The answer is to do a heart check. The good news is not that God will like us better if we fix our faults. The Good News is that God loves us anyway. Let him search the depths of your heart, and let him change what you value. We chase after what we love. “Father, I confess that too often what I love is me.” I don’t know who wrote the words, but this chorus is my prayer today:

Change my heart oh God

Make it ever true

Change my heart oh God

May I be like You

You are the potter

I am the clay

Mold me and make me

This is what I pray

Change my heart oh God

Make it ever true

Change my heart oh God

May I be like You