Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV)

[12] Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, [13] bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. [14] And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

It is interesting that Jesus said, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Mt 5:23-24). Paul wrote,  “If one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col 3:13). Go to the one who is offended by you. Forgive the one who offends you. We tend to turn these around.

We say, “If someone has something against me they should come to me.” Jesus said that if someone has something against you, you should go to them. We say, “If I have something against someone, I should go to them.” Paul wrote that if you have something against someone, you should forgive them. I wonder what difference it would make if we would keep this in the right order. Go to someone who has something against you. Forgive those you have something against.

When we turn it around and go to those we have something against, it almost always comes off as accusation and justification. The offending party is put on the spot, and are actually required to be the bigger person through confession before forgiveness. If we forgive those we are offended by, rather than accusing them and requiring them to “repent” we are getting a taste of what Jesus has done for us. But how can we forgive if we don’t first air the offense? We forgive the same way Jesus did. We take it to the cross. We see their sin nailed to the cross right along with ours. We embrace the heart of Jesus that spoke from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Lk 23:24).

After all, if the cross is enough to take away the sins of the world, then isn’t it enough to take away the sin of my offender? Or do we get to live by a higher standard of forgiveness than God? Forgiveness is not just withholding punishment. It is letting go of the offense, realizing that the punishment has been fully paid.

There are certainly other passages that address offenses, faults, and sin in the scriptures. In Matthew 18 Jesus taught, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (Mt 18:15). In Galatians 6:1 Paul wrote,  “If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” Colossians 3 and Matthew 5 are certainly not the only passages that address conflict. But, it would be interesting to see what it might look like if we were quicker to admit fault, and quicker to forgive rather than being quick to point out fault and demand repentance. It leaves us with the question: Is the cross really enough to cover my brother’s or sister’s sin? Or, do I get to require a higher standard than God?