Advice to Husbands


Esther 1:22 (ESV)
He sent letters to all the royal provinces, to every province in its own script and to every people in its own language, that every man be master in his own household and speak according to the language of his people.

I was just reading through Esther 1 again when this verse caught my eye. The King of Persia commanded that “every man be master in his own household.” Many might read that and cheer. “Yes!” we might say, “that is as it should be. That is what the Bible teaches.” And we would be wrong.

Yes, the Bible teaches that a wife is to submit to her husband (Eph 5:22). But that submission is a willing submission, not a forced or enforced submission. The Husband is told to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. He is not told to be master in his own household. We too often misread and misapply that text.

How did Christ love the Church? He gave himself for her. Is Christ Lord? Yes, absolutely, but submission to him is willing submission. Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her (Eph 5:25). He gave himself in order to beautify her and make her holy (Eph 5:26-27). In response to this a husband is to hold fast to his wife and nourish and cherish her as he does his own body (Eph 5:29-31). Where in that passage does it say, “Husbands, be masters of your household?” It is time we, as men of God, learn to love our wives and stop worrying so much about being masters.

Ephesians tells us to be lovers, not masters. Masters command and demand. Lovers die for the good of another. Masters act in their own best interest and seek to protect themselves and their image. Lovers act in their beloved’s best interested and seek to protect them and their image. Masters are concerned about self. Lovers are concerned for the one they love. Isn’t it time we learn to love as Christ loved? A Persian king said, let “every man be master in his own household” (Esth 1:22). The Apostle Paul taught, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church” (Eph 5:25). Whose advice do you think we should follow?

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