Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)
[9] Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is
good. [10] Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in
showing honor.
Some parts of these verses are easier for some than for others. A culture
that values being nice might do well at outdoing one another in showing honor,
but their love might not be genuine. A conversation within that culture might
sound a bit like this: “Here, you go ahead of me.” “No, no. You go first. Let
me hold the door for you.” Holding the door for someone is a way of showing
honor. But when the two separate, you might here: “Boy that guy sure is weird.
I wonder where he came from,” or, “She puts on a good front, but if you ever
work with her you will soon find out that she is really pretty selfish.” There
may be external honor, but there is no genuine love.
A culture that values truth over niceness might love genuinely, but find it
hard to outdo one another in showing honor. It might not occur to them to hold
the door for someone behind them and let them go ahead, but they will tell the
truth no matter how it hurts. Their reasoning is that real love is honest. If
you care about somebody, you will tell them the truth. They sound harsh, but
they care deeply. Expressions of honor and love are often different in
different cultures. If we do not understand the culture we can offend or be
offended even when our motives are pure.
Imagine a church with Jews and Romans in it. Their cultures are different.
They come from completely different world-views and backgrounds even though
they lived in the same city. Now they have been saved and are both part of the same
church. It would be far less complicated if we just had two churches. First
Church of Jewish Believers and First Church of Gentiles could comfortably exist
in the same city. They wouldn’t need to deal with their cultural differences.
They wouldn’t need to do the hard work of understanding. That would make things
so much less complicated, but that is not what Romans teaches them to do.
Romans teaches them to love one another as brothers, members of the same
family. It teaches them to honor one another. That requires taking time to get
to know and appreciate each other. It teaches them to recognize one another’s different
gifts and honor their practice. It teaches them to be humble about their own gifts,
exercising them with humility, not comparing. Romans 12 teaches that the true
church of Jesus Christ will be diverse, yet loving and accepting. In
communities that are fairly mono-cultural that sounds easy, yet we often find
ways to divide, resent, and reject. In communities that have diverse culture
and color this is more obvious, yet no easier.
To love those who are different from you takes effort. It requires us to lay aside our presumptions and presuppositions. It requires us to get to know one another despite our differences. It requires a willingness to experience that which is foreign to us, and embrace that which is unfamiliar, without judgment. Genuine love that abhors what is evil and holds fast to what is good takes discernment and hard work. That is what it truly means to honor one another and love them with brotherly love. As our world increasingly changes, are you willing to do the hard work that Romans challenges us to do? Or will you choose to remain comfortably aloof?
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