Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV)
[27] “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
[28] But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Jesus broadened adultery from a physical act to an attitude of the heart,
yet this is still misunderstood. The word translated “lustful intent” is simply
the word desire. It is sometimes used in a negative sense such as desiring a
woman who is not your spouse, or in a positive sense such as desiring the role
of an elder in 1 Timothy. So, what does that mean? I believe that we have often
understood this passage to mean that if we imagine ourselves in a sexual
relationship with an individual then we are breaking this command. It could
mean to desire sexually. That is certainly the context. Yet it could be
broader. If I begin to imagine what it might be like to be married to an individual
other than my spouse without the sexual content it might still be a violation. I
have heard men say, “You can look, but don’t touch.” I have heard others
justify desire because their perspective was that it wasn’t primarily “sexual”
desire. I have heard women fantasize about being married to someone they perceive
as gentle and caring when their husband is harsh and demanding. They begin to
imagine what it might be like to be married to such an wonderful, godly man. We
have an incredible ability to justify our sin. An individual might justify
imagining what it might be like be with someone you are not married because you
are not really desiring it, you are just wondering. But the severity of Jesus
response to adultery suggests that we have been far more guilty of this than we
care to admit. Jesus is saying that to desire a woman who is not your spouse is
a violation of the command concerning adultery. But we need to stop thinking
about his only as a man’s sin. Pornography is increasingly a sin or both
genders. Imagining a better spouse or desiring to be the husband or wife of someone
other than your spouse is a form of adultery. As believers, we must guard not
only your eyes, but your minds.
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