Matthew 5:31-32 (ESV)
[31] “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a
certificate of divorce.’ [32] But I say to you that everyone who
divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit
adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Jesus’ statement here is pretty clear. Marriage is to be inviolable, yet he
leaves porneia as grounds for divorce. Porneia is “a selling
off (surrendering) of sexual purity; promiscuity of
any (every) type” according to HELPS Word-studies. It is a fairly broad term
that has been understood in this passage in a variety of ways by Bible
scholars. As I was praying about what this verse has to do with me and how it
applies a phrase came to mind: Love your wife. That is really what this is
about. It is not about finding loopholes to get out of marriage or to shame a
person into staying in an abusive marriage. It is about loving your spouse. These
verses are sandwiched between a paragraph about lust and sexual purity, and a
paragraph about keeping your word. To love my wife is to remain sexually
committed only to her. To love my wife is to keep my promise to her that I made
on the day I married her. To love my wife is to abstain from porneia,
but it is more than that. The question in Jesus’ day was: How can I lawfully
get out of my marriage? Jesus’ teaching leads us to realize that they are
asking the wrong question. The real question is not about getting out of
marriage, but what does it mean to be married? It means a commitment to moral
purity and exclusivity. It means keeping my word. It means loving my wife.
Divorce wouldn’t need to be an option if we only learned to truly love our spouse.
My wife is not my property. She is a part of me and she is to be loved deeply,
passionately, and exclusively. May we learn to truly love.
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